I've been terribly depressed lately.
During the period of my year-end exams, I've managed to pull 2 weeks worth of all-nighters, working more than 13 hours a day and somehow still made it out alive. During that time, I've obviously neglected this blog, my health, family, and playtime. Buuuuuuuuuuuut, now that it's over, it's tiME TO PARTYYYYYY.
jk I have no friends.
mmkay but If you think about it, by repetitively doing the same things over and over again each and every single day, you'd go insane. You can even see this at shops where people just constantly do the same things. Scanning and bagging, packing and sorting. It's an emotionally challenging job, because If anyone does this long enough, you'd see their emotions just slip away slowly, losing grip of excitement, of intimacy, and motivation. (okay not the mall part, the school and work part)
I figured that I've lost track of who I want to be. And like many people, struggle with finding any meaning in everything they do. But what I really want to do now, however, is to find true happiness again. So I've listed down all the things that made me happy and amongst all the things listed, they all have 1 thing in common, growth.
So if you're really unhappy, I suggest you find ways in which you can grow.
Whether that's
- learning a new skill
- trying something that's scary
- traveling
- exercising
- or even therapy.
For me, I want to start drawing again. It might sound easy, but let me tell you that art FUCKS with your self-esteem. For every 100 that you do, 99.9 of them would be absolute shit. Don't even get me started on how frustrating it is when your ideas don't come out on paper like you hoped it would. Art is fuckin hardcore m8. Constantly
If you feel stuck intellectually, physically, spiritually or emotionally, when you find ways to grow out of that, I promise that you can evolve to be whoever you aim to be.
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Aye fam you good